While most people know Stephen Malkmus for his amazing solo work and, of course, Pavement, few know him for his real talent: fantasy sports. Indeed, among that rarified breed who love fantasy sports and indie rock equally, Malkmus is legendary for "Summer Babe," Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain and regularly winning fantasy baseball and football championships in leagues stocked with fellow indie luminaries. During a recent phone conversation pitched as a discussion on his excellent new album Real Emotional Trash, we instead went deep into Malkmus' feelings on the upcoming MLB season, the NBA and some ending touches on living in New York. Below is the conversation. EMUSIC: I was thinking we could just talk about baseball today if that's cool. MALKMUS: Totally. Sounds great. So who's your team? The Dodgers, just from growing up in Los Angeles. But anybody who is playing against the Red Sox and anyone who is playing against the Yankees is my team. I like the Mets, also. And I like the Diamondbacks, the Brewers. How do you feel about Ryan Braun? I love Ryan Braun. He was incredible last year. He's kind of can't-miss. I know they're thinking of moving him to the outfield. He's bad at defense, but from a fantasy perspective he's gold. He's unbelievable. They're picking him 13th or 14th [in fantasy baseball drafts]. He seems a little unproven for that high. I agree, but I was really dumb last year. Someone dropped him and I could've had him after a couple of weeks. I got Hunter Pence that same way, but I guess you can't get both Hunter Pence and Braun. Too unfair in an NL-only league. If you're in NL only, Ryan Braun is like A-Rod or something. Yvonni Gallardo from the Brewers, too. He's a great young player, too. I guess he's hurt until late April, but still. Well despite being a mediocre team, the Brewers are great for fantasy. Corey Hart, Prince Fielder. I love Corey Hart. I drafted him last year and I fucking traded him because he didn't play for the first half of the year. It's not like I didn't get anything in return — I won the league in the end. [Matador Records owner] Gerard Cosloy did this league where there were 12 categories – like, "blown saves" were a category. It's a really dumb category for NL-only. It's fine for a mixed league because you only have closers on your team, but in a league like that, if a closer blows a save it's cool, but you have middle relievers that come in with the bases loaded and one out because somebody else screwed up and they get a blown save. They do a great job and get three outs, but they let one run through. It's really frustrating. How's Gerard as a fantasy player? He doesn't put enough work into it to win, but he's got good talent. It's a grind. It was an autodraft and I totally got the worst team. It's an NL-only with 14 teams and there weren't even enough middle infielders. Maybe it was 13. But unless you got lucky in the autodraft you got stuck with some utility guy as one of your infielders. Is this a league where Brad Ausmus is actually a starter? He starts. In fact I think I had him. Some guy in our league liked him. It was weird. I had to completely retool my team because I made some mistakes. I traded Jason Schmidt. I got Adrian Gonzalez for him right away, which was smart. But then some guy who didn't have any pitching wanted to trade me Hanley Ramirez for Ben Sheets and I had just made that other trade and decided I needed Sheets. Sheets had just pitched that first game of the year and was on fire. It's so hard to trade when someone does that. I had Brandon Webb but I thought I needed two to kick ass. Do you only do NL-only? I did a public league also, but I didn't really pay attention to it. I like NL-only the best. How long has this league been going on? Four or five years. It's been going on longer than me: I joined four years ago. But it's sorta casual because they don't have an online draft, but this year we are finally because everyone's like, "My schedule's too busy!" I don't understand that, because if you are going to have a 162-game season make time for the thing that's actually the most fun part of the whole league. I don't understand. So there are four people who don't pay attention, but I try not to trade with them just to be fair. You have to prey on those people. Occasionally you do. Late in the year I did this thing where I traded for Brett Myers… Did you feel conflicted about having Brett Myers on your team? He's a bad man. He's a bad redneck. There's this guy that I did an interview with who covers Philly. He's friends with the whole team, and he says they're all awesome — except for Brett Myers. He says he's a dumb redneck. Well two years ago or so he got caught beating his wife or girlfriend in front of a hotel in Boston. Oh man. That's not good. In the basketball leagues there are some guys who I won't pick because I just don't like them. Like Joaquim Noah. I don't like that guy. What do you have against him? His look, and the fact that he played for Florida. It comes a little too easy for him. Have you adopted the Blazers out there? Yeah I love them. I never loved them like my friends do, but this year some of the guys are fun. Like Travis Outlaw, you can't help but to root for him. An exciting young player. [Baby cries in the background] What's the matter, you want milk? Sorry, my kid's bumming. She's sick and I'm on double-duty. The games are fun. Even when they're sold out they don't feel like they're sold out. Has the interest dropped off as they have struggled? Not for me. The games still sell out. We all want them to lose so they'll get a better draft pick, really. Do you think they should keep LaMarcus Aldridge? I'm not a big fan of Aldridge myself. I think he's kind of soft. I would trade him if we could get something for him. He's had a good couple of weeks here lately. Jarret Jack is good, but they need a point guard. They could have had Chris Paul but they drafted Martell Webster. But that was the old management. Can you imagine Chris Paul on this team? What about Oden? Do you like the mohawk? I'm not a fan of Oden or that draft pick either, but I can understand why they did it. I would have taken Durant right away. I don't trust this Oden guy, and he got injured right away. For me, if he gets 9 points and 9 rebounds and 1.4 blocks through his career, I'll be happy. That's his ceiling, I think. He's not Dwight Howard. He's slow and old. He's an old 19. He's old even though he's young. Did you see his blog post about Obama? Before the Ohio primary, Obama called him and they had a five-minute conversation, where Obama talked about how good Outlaw and Jack and Aldridge looked but how they'd need him next year. He really knew the team like a real basketball head. He also gave Oden grief about the mohawk. That's cool. That's cool. I don't mind the mohawk. They're dumb, mohawks. The singer of my punk band got a mohawk. That's the most popular we ever were. People were thrashing when they were just standing there when he had normal hair. It really was the visuals: "Wow, they're a real punk band! We better pogo or whatever." People care about Matt Barnes with the hair and the neck tattoos. He's a loser. I like his game. I don't like him. I want Biedrens to come back. He's holding me down. I need him back. I don't like Baron Davis. He's so lazy. He's a great player when he tries, but you see when he tries to hot dog it. Somehow he always ends up with 25 points and six assists even when he's not trying, so he's great, but I just don't like the guy much. Monta Ellis though, that's a game I'm a fan of. That kid is awesome. I love that kid. Have you seen him play? Absolutely. He's fearless, takes it to the hole… He's like a Dwayne Wade that doesn't get hurt and do fake flops. Amazing. He's more like Iverson. He's so cool. How do you feel about the Knicks? I was a big fan of the Knicks when I lived in New York. I'd go to the games. I want them to be good, but this whole Isiah thing is so awful. I don't know why he's still there. I don't read the papers out there that much, so I don't know what James Dolan is smoking. There are some players there: David Lee, obviously, and Jamal Crawford. I love Crawford. He's from Seattle. He's so cute. A little waterbug. He can score like a real scorer — he can obviously throw bricks for a night, too. Nate is fun, too. I'm a huge David Lee fan. I wish they'd play him more. There's so much to get rid of, mainly Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry. I think it was smart to get Randolph considering what they gave up. It hasn't worked out, but if you had asked me before the season I would've said, yeah, you've gotta try that. He is a 20-10 guy. He might decide to try. And Quentin Richardson is cooked. His divorce, or whatever is going on with his superstar wife is pissing him off or he's just old, but he's gotta go. They've been winning games lately, though! I think they'd be better off holding auditions on West 4th St and say, "Here are your new Knicks." The Marbury thing was ridiculous. You gotta stay away from him with a ten-foot pole. What's your fantasy baseball team called, by the way? Are you a clever name guy? They're different every year. I can't remember what I was last year. The draft is coming. I'm excited. I haven't had a chance with the kids and stuff to do any research, but I can just go to Rotoworld for three hours and I'll know who my sleepers are without even doing my own research. Clay Buchholz will be a monster. Well I'll pick him! It's an obvious one, but the guy from Philly who I did the interview with says Cole Hamels. He's already a star, obviously, but he's working on a fifth pitch — he's gonna have a changeup, better curveball. Bump him up even though he's an injury risk. I'm hoping John Maine can do it again. Maybe he'll have a little less pressure with Santana there. Who knows. Do you like the Mets? Yeah I'm a Mets fan. All the Matador guys are. They're huge into the Mets. They go to games occasionally and get into trouble. They're really good fans. I picked them up back in the '90s when they weren't so good. I'm excited. They've got the old question marks like always with Alou and Delgado, so I don't know what to say about them. You've gotta be excited about Santana. That guy is unbelievable. You gotta do it now. That guy pitching in Shea, it's gotta be great. Do you have a favorite for the Series this year? I haven't thought about it much yet. Still in basketball. But the Diamondbacks are solid. Getting Danny Haren was a steal. That was a great move. And if Byrnes is good again — he proved everyone wrong with that second half last year — and maybe Justin Upton, who won't be unbelievable but will be one day. And Conor Jackson is a good sleeper guy to pick, too. First baseman. So I like them in general. They have an offensive park, so a lot of stats come out of that place. There's of course an indie rock sports community, but by and large it's not the norm. Have you ever gotten shit for that? Not really. You can be a role model for other people that felt persecuted for liking sports but also something as feminine and soft as music. I find all the time people are coming up to me, people in other bands, that are into it. Plus in Europe there's not the same dichotomy. If you're British you like football — doesn't matter if you're in Blur. There'll be somebody who's like, "I fucking hate sports. I hate lad culture!" There will be that person, but most people will follow the footie. When I was in a punk band in California in the '80s I liked sports, too, from my dad, but that was the jocks against the punks. It totally was. It was Coors Light-drinking aggy guys who wanted to kick our ass. But we played soccer and tennis. The "fag" sports. Exactly. I couldn't play baseball. I was afraid to play baseball by that age when they were throwing that hard. If I knew they were throwing down the pipe, but they weren't. They were wild. Do you play softball? I do. We have a team sponsored by this art collective. It's got members of the Joggers and the Shins on the team. And we were very fortunate to win our division. It's a bar league. It was a really fun summer last year — I don't know how much I'm going to be able to do this summer because of touring stuff. It was the first time I played organized softball. [The great thing about softball is that] there's beer being drunk during the game and it's no big deal. Although during our championship game it became pretty competitive. To the point where I didn't have to be competitive because everyone else was. It was nice having other people playing that role. "Come on!" We were tied in the fourth inning and someone cracked open a beer, and someone else goes, "They're just drinking Red Bull on the other side! Can't it wait until after the game?" I was like, "Come on! Who fucking cares! It's a beer!" Are you competitive? Yeah! If no one else was competitive on the team — You would be the dick. I wouldn't have been the dick, but I would have been saying, "some spirit here!" Even if it was mock. But I didn't have to because there were some serious indie hormones. Testosterone, I mean. That's what summer's about. It's the best time. I love the summer so much, especially where we live. I can't wait for it to come. How long did you live in New York? From '90 until '97. Where did you live? First I lived in Jersey City, then Hoboken and then I lived in Williamsburg and then Greenpoint. I never really made it to the big city until later. Now we have an apartment there that my wife bought and we sublet it. I was there for the early Williamsburg… The first influx. Yeah, or the second or whatever. There were real older artists, 32 year olds who were there and we came in '91. "It's okay, you can come here!" Other areas of Brooklyn were comparatively scary. For me, coming from Virginia and California, Hoboken just seemed totally safe. I moved to New York from Williamsburg, Virginia, where I went to school. Grew up in Blacksburg and went to William & Mary. Wow, Blacksburg. Steve, the drummer of Pavement, lives near there, where Washington & Lee is, whatever that town is called. He's lived there for 12 years now in the middle of nowhere. He has a farm, this abandoned mansion type thing. It's beautiful. It's isolated though, obviously. When I moved to New York I didn't know much about it — "wow this is a big city" — but once you get used to it people are nice, not that much to be afraid of. A little more in 1991 obviously. Now I'm sure it's just, you know you graduate from Mississippi State and move straight there and you're like, "alllllright!" How did you like UVA? Was it super conservative? We found our niche, it just took a while. All you need is five or six cool people and it's fine. There's five or six there. There was an alternative to the frat world. There were some Grateful Dead sorta drug fraternities — Sigma Nu — and you'd go there for concerts with weird bands playing. It was a fraternity, but they were more into whippets. They weren't into whipping they were into whippets. That's how you'd go to a party that wasn't at your own house. But there was college radio, and people in my freshman dorm. They weren't the same kinda people as me, but they weren't pledging, rushing or Young Republicans. It was fine. There were probably better places for me, but it was fine. The only other thing I was going to ask was about books. Just what you're reading. I read this book The Worst Journey in the World. This book about the Scott polar exploration that went for the British. It's written by this guy… I think I liked his name. He's called Apsley Cherry-Garrard. That was quite good. And then I read this really gnarly book called A Sunday in the Pool in Kigali. It's about Rwanda a little bit, the genocide. It's by this guy from Montreal named Gil Courtemanche. It's really gnarly. A bunch of people getting their limbs cut off, but it's literature. I dunno. I guess I'm just really into S&M lately.
